My clients know I'm recovered. Once comfortable enough, some will ask me, "Are you triggered by your clients’ eating disorder behaviors?" It's a good and fair question, and my answer is not normally, or if I am, it is merely so superficial it's just a little blip. I'm not immune to being triggered, but the eating disorder symptoms, as is true for all of us with this illness, were merely ways to protect myself from what was underneath.
It’s been quite a week for me - I had an unexpected visitor. I know when soul sadness shows up immediately; I’m engulfed by a hollow emptiness. A knot is embedded in the lining of my stomach, along with an inability to catch my breath and tears that fall without warning. Advance notice is not provided when soul sadness visits; it just bursts into my home, uninvited and in the past unwelcomed and numbed by the eating disorder that later followed in its footsteps. The duration of the stay is uncertain and often variable - no notable rhythm or pattern evident...
